It was supposed to be a day of joy and peace, a time of refreshing with family and friends. However, it was anything but. The atmosphere became heavy with tension because of squabbling siblings. The younger sister resisted helping with the preparations. How could this be? Immanuel came today. Problems began when the hostess got caught up in all the clutter of the preparations and forgot that Immanuel means “God with us”. That was the main reason for the gathering. Several issues threatened this family’s celebration bringing about stress. Everything had to be perfect as she planned. But unrealistic expectation always brings frustration when even one of the desired intentions falls short. All the anxiety soon led to anger—so much for a happy day! Glad when it is over.
Does that sound like your Christmas? Actually, it is a description of the home of Martha and Mary when Jesus came to visit. They experienced similar emotions in their busyness that many homes do today at Christmas. Look at several lessons we can glean from the strife in this home. One of the most common words in Christmas songs is joy: JOY TO THE WORLD, THE LORD IS COME; JOYFUL ALL YE NATIONS RISE; or O COME ALL YE FAITHFUL, JOYFUL AND TRIUMPHANT, plus many more. Martha had allowed the clutter of preparation steal her joy. But what were her expectations? It is possible she was over preparing. Was she preparing for a large crowd? There is no indication that anyone besides Jesus was there. Now as they were traveling along, He [not, they] entered a village; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him [not, them] into her home (Luk 10:38).
Christmas is a busy time but often it is self-imposed because we have unrealistic expectations. My wife struggled with this for years. She had a hard life growing up. As a result, she had developed a picture perfect ideal of the way she dreamed Christmas should be with our family. If one piece of her criteria slipped out of place, she quickly became upset. Hopefully, most families will sing joyful songs because they are focusing on the central reason they have gathered, to celebrate that Jesus has come. Martha focused so much on the lesser important, she missed what was the most important. Mary her sister embraced the fact Immanuel (God with us) was sitting in their living room. Martha was so distracted that she actually scolded Jesus. But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me” (Lk 10:40). Imagine that, she reprimanded God. Jesus responded telling Martha the source of her problem. “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part . . . “ Luk 10:41, 42). Scripture doesn’t tell us how the remainder of that day went. Hopefully, Martha adjusted her attitude and had a joyful time being with Jesus.
Let me note several practical lessons we’ve learned through the years with the Lord’s help. One of the hardest days of grief is the first Christmas after the death of a love one. You will always remember the place they sat, the food they enjoyed most, and their unique mannerisms. It always seems there is one empty space at the table. Yet, we can rest in the fact Immanuel is with us through the Holy Spirit who comforts us and will fill that empty place in our hearts. A second kind of emptiness comes when our children are married and gone. Now with their own family and in-laws, traditional family customs for Christmas will never be the same. We always celebrated on Christmas Eve with a whole BBQ hog that I cooked. Now with our daughter 50 miles away, our youngest son 100 miles away, and our oldest son 400 miles away, traditions changed. This year our gathering took place the day after Thanksgiving. Christmas is not about a family reunion, a huge feast, expensive gifts, or an absolute date. These are secondary to the central focus—celebrating the coming of Jesus, Immanuel (God with us). Now Donna and I don’t fret that our traditions aren’t the way they used to be. Instead, we enjoy what we have, those who are with us, and when they can be with us. We celebrate God is with us and God is with them.
The biggest clutter that robs families of the joy of Christmas is the $465 billion Americans spend on Christmas. One analyst says we spend $1 trillion. Either way that can bring truckloads of clutter to our lives. The marketing world has convinced people that this year’s gifts have to be better and more expensive that last years. Problem with this philosophy is the Bible nowhere says that; in fact it doesn’t even say we have to give gifts. We learned in our four years in Zambia where nothing was available for Christmas that the simplest and lease expensive Christmas is far more joyful. You may be reading this on Christmas morning and you are anticipating a stressful day; you need to adjust your attitude. Drop the unimportant things and refocus. Even if you are already in the mist of unrest, tension, and conflict, none of these problems needs to be ‘in’ you. Receive the gifts Jesus gave us—peace and joy. Embrace them, push out the clutter, and celebrate that God is with you.
Sustaining Word for the Week: Have a Merry Christmas.