Ok, I will admit Christmas is not my most favorite holiday. I’m glad we set aside a day for honoring Christ’s birth even though most scholars agree that He was not born on December 25. A friend suggested I consider addressing the fact that during the holiday season “depression increases dramatically and people need sustaining.” It surprised me when I began researching the subject and discovered that 45% of North American people dread the Christmas season. You may have heard that suicides increase in December, but reliable statistics contradict this, however one study shows suicides escalate following the holidays in January as much as 40%. Health organizations do report a significant upsurge in depression from Thanksgiving to New Year’s.
You might be saying, “Well, this refers to people who aren’t Christians.” Sorry, the evidence reveals the issue of holiday blues is no different for believers. Those of us who battle depression year round have learned to conceal our emotions with happy-face-masks and maybe more so at Christmas. Because people hide their true state of mind, sufferers, only seeing fellow-sufferers’ facades, can feel alone. “I shouldn’t feel this way. No one else does.” They do not realize millions of others are going through the exact same experience. Adding to this, because others expect them to be happy and having fun, feelings of guilt are further exacerbated.
Why does this happen? The list of reasons would be almost endless. The point of this Sustaining Word is not to point out all the causes but to let those affected by holiday anxiety know they are not alone. In addition, I hope this helps those who revel in the season gain a better understanding of those who aren’t as enthusiastic. Many struggles grow out of the fact the marketing world has hijacked Christmas. Honoring Christ is but a shadow in the background of commercialization and man-made traditions. Advertising begins earlier every year; people put up decorations before Thanksgiving; promotions urge people to buy more gifts and pricier gifts; and then for the icing on the cake, the demands to attend every activity, party, play, concert, and gathering.
My best memories of Christmas come from our time living in Africa. Few stores existed where we lived and none of them sold Christmas items. The churches, with which we worked, did not celebrate Christmas. Since gifts were unavailable, we made gifts for each other. My daughter, now with three children of her own, still talks about the toy stove I made for her out of old shipping crates. We hosted the missionaries from every denomination and the American expats on Christmas day. I prepared the Southern delicacy of a pit bar-b-qued pig. Following the meal, we sang carols and shared testimonies— simple, but far less stressful and much more fulfilling. I do not remember being blue even one Christmas.
I cringe when I hear clichés like ‘He’s the reason for the season’ or ‘Put Christ back in Christmas’. These may produce a chorus of amens, but end at that point as a meaningless cliché with nothing ever changing. Individuals overwhelmed with all the demands must alter the way they approach and celebrate the season. First, stop allowing traditions and social normatives force you into a despondent emotional state. Begin by asking yourself, is the world dictating the way I observe Christmas, or are traditions, family expectations, or marketing schemes?
No need to trash Christmas, rather adjust by removing and managing areas that bring you stress. Set up boundaries on financial, activities, number of gifts, social gatherings or anything that pushes you toward depression. My wife and I have modified our attitudes toward Christmas. For years, she created a mental picture of an idealistic setting of when, who, and how our actives transpired. Our celebration had to be on Christmas Day with all our children, her mom and my dad together in her envisioned plan. Something always messed up this picture. Now with all the children married having their own children, in-laws, and living at distance locations that image is forever gone. We enjoy all who can come. Now, when snags occur, we adjust accordingly. This year we will celebrate on the day after Christmas with only two children and their families here because of schedules and travel restrictions. My stresses have centered around gift buying and ‘people overload’. I’m learning not to fret about buying gifts for everyone. Being a loner, I struggle with ‘people overload’. My family has come to understand and accept that at times I need to slip out of the house and get some space alone in my work shop.
For those who battle the blues and depression, you have no reason to beat yourself up or feel guilty. Find what brings you and your family the greatest joy. Celebrate Christ and make Him the focus of all your activities. During the season, increase your devotional time and study scriptures about His birth.
Sustaining Word for the Week: Push the commercialization and man-made traditions into the background as a shadow in Christ’s radiant light and glory. Merry Christmas to all.