“Nobody loves me! Nobody has ever loved me!” I was a bit taken back by this cold and harsh reply. I had just prayed for Sherry during the altar time and told her that God loved her and we loved her. Yet, her response was understandable knowing her past. She had been on the streets as a prostitute since she was fourteen. Now at forty years old, she wanted a life away from sex and drugs. She wanted to be loved, but in reality, she did not know what love was. It took several years of counseling and Christians demonstrating God’s love before she became victorious over her past.
Last week I introduced man’s hierarchy of needs. Some might wonder why I use Maslow’s illustration of a pyramid since he was not a Christian. In fact, he was one of the founders of humanistic psychology. Yet, even from a humanistic point of view, he does accurately categorize man’s needs except he falls short by not recognizing the greatest need, which is spiritual, our need for God, and our need for the Word of God. The Spiritual need is the base of man’s pyramid of needs and not Physiological as Maslow designates. Problem is people seek to fulfill their needs by humanistic means and not through God. Jesus taught that when we put God first, we do not even have to concern ourselves with the two basic needs for survival—Physiological or air, food, and water and Safety and Security or shelter, clothing, and protection from danger. Paul further adds to that promise. And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19). This includes our need for Love, Self-esteem, and Self Actualization or achieving our individual potential.
Sherry needed love, but sought for it in all the wrong places. Only after years of pain, disappointment, and whatever else she endured, did she finally discover the love of God and love by other Christians. She was finally able to understand the meaning of true love and have that need met in her life. In the original language, there are three words, each with a different shade of meaning, but all are translated by the one English word, love. There is a love for our families, another love for friends, and God’s love, which is unconditional love that goes beyond feelings. God loves us with this kind of love and commands that we love others this way. Jesus said to His disciples, This I command you, that you love one another (John 15:17). Jesus also prayed that the love with which the Father loved Him would be in us (John 17:26). Jesus even commanded that we love our enemies. We can only do this with God’s love, which goes beyond emotions or feeling. I do not like my enemies. They are not my friends. Only through the Holy Spirit giving us God’s kind of love can we love those for whom we do not have positive feelings. Our feelings many not change. Our actions toward such people are what count. God’s love in action causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and send rain on the righteous and the unrighteous (Matt 5:45).
You are probably thinking, “That’s tough. I’m not sure I can do that.” My response, “I agree.” Yet, note our example. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (Rom 5:8). In verse 10, Paul enhances this statement, while we were enemies we were reconciled to God. A verse I memorized soon after giving my life to Christ, Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us (1 John 3:1). Anytime I am tempted to doubt God’s love, I remember or behold the suffering Christ did for me because He loved me even when I was His enemy. Yes, you are right that you cannot love people this way. This kind of love comes only from God as we abide in Christ, and He produces this love within us. Paul says love is a fruit of the Spirit. The Holy Spirit plants, cultivates, and develops love like the fruit on a tree.
Sherry not only discovered God’s love for her, she began experiencing the other two kinds of love. She developed relationships with Christians who loved her as a friend. She also was brought into a new family, the Church. She began enjoying the love family members have for one another. Summarizing this lady’s life in a couple of sentences may appear like a perfect picture. Even though the outcome was good, there were a lot of bumps in the road as it is with all believers seeking fulfillment of their need for love. Fruit is not instant. New loving relationships take time. I have a peach tree and a pear tree loaded down with little fruit. I cannot enjoy it yet; it is not mature. The growth will take several weeks as I continue to take care of these trees. Yet, week by week, the fruit gets larger and larger. In the same way, the fruit of the Spirit is not instant with a mature love. Day by day, it grows. We may not even realize it.
God’s love for us is unconditional however it takes a lifetime to comprehend just how great and unconditional it is. It does not depend on my success at life. I finally began understanding His love after I had failed Him more times, than I could count. Not one time did He condemn me and tell me what a failure I was. Rather, His loving hand reached out, picked me up, cleaned be off, and reminded me that He loved me and helped me continue my spiritual journey.
Sustaining Word for the Week:
He’s got you covered for your physiological needs, safety security needs, and your need for love. You find it by surrendering to God who will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus