For nearly three hours, we heard or overheard the story of how his wife left him and their small children two years before, for a life of drugs, alcohol, and sex. Each time he told his story to another listener, he would repetitively add, “But I’m over it. It don’t bother me anymore. I’m just moving on with my life.”
A small group we had pastored several years earlier and had not seen since moving from the church, invited Donna and I to a Christmas gathering. It was good seeing each of them and catching up on all they had been doing. I was surprised to learn the young man telling his story was divorced. The last time we saw him, he was happily married to a beautiful and talented young woman. She had been active in the church and was an amazing singer. Even learning they were divorced was unexpected, but the fact she had intentionally gone into such sinful lifestyle was shocking. After hearing him detail his misfortune once, we mingled and talked with others. However, the party was in small house and regardless of where we were, we could still hear him telling his story over and over, always adding that he was over the situation and moving on with his life.
When Donna and I got in our car, simultaneously we both said to each other, “He’s not over it.” This reminded us of a bad situation in which a church leader betrayed and deeply hurt us. For several months, everybody we met heard our story. One-night friends invited us for supper in their home. After a delicious meal, I began once again sharing our story. Driving home that night the Holy Spirit vividly spoke to my spirit telling me that if I would stop picking the scab off the wound, it could heal. That may be a bit graphic, but I cannot count the times my mother scolded me when I had a cut that was trying to heal and I picked at the scab. I guess because of my childhood experience, this spoke to the very core of my spirit. The Holy Spirit so convicted me, after that night, I never again told anyone about our painful betrayal. It was not long before God was able to heal our wound.
We will all experience painful situations as long as we live in this sinful world. It may be hurt from others, loss of a loved one, events taking place in the world, or stress within the family. The key is what we do with these hurts. Do we continue going over them in our mind or constantly tell others? Or do we learn from them and move on? When we encounter a rock in the path of our spiritual journey, we can do one of two things: we can allow it to be a stumbling stone or can make it a stepping-stone to higher ground. The Apostle Paul said, but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead (Philippians 3:13). Paul certainly had his share of hurt from others. The word for ‘forgetting‘ does not mean Paul had totally erased his past from his memory, but he had placed it out of his active thoughts. We see the same with Joseph. He named his firstborn Manasseh, “For,” he said, “God has made me forget all my trouble and all my father’s household” (Gen 41:51). Again, Joseph could not erase the facts from his mind, but the pain was no longer active in his thoughts.
I saw a small plaque last week that succinctly sums up this thought, “You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.” More than likely, some who are reading this are still re-reading the last chapter, telling it to others, and re-experiencing the pain. As we enter a new year, turn the page. God has an exciting new chapter for your life. Just as God has created our physical body with a process for healing a cut, with His help, He can heal even the deepest emotional or spiritual wound in our lives. Yet, like with the body, healing is a process involving times. So, stop picking at, tearing the wound open again, and let the healing process complete.
Sustaining Word for the Week:
Start a new chapter. Stop re-reading last year’s hurt and pain. Put them in an inactive file and reach forward to what lies ahead in God’s plan for your life