I thought I was normal until my wife informed me I wasn’t. I remember most everything that has happened to me back to the age of three. I always assumed everyone could do this until she corrected my assumption. She is the opposite—information in and information out. I thought that was abnormal. It has frustrated me at times when she couldn’t remember certain people or major events from our past. She’s helpd me realize not all people can recall the past as I do. Some might think having this ability would be wonderful. However, negatives exist along with the positives; I not only remember the good, I likewise can recollect the bad, as well as, I remember all my sins and failures. This has affected my spiritual life.
My inability to forget troubled me for years when I heard preachers say, “You must forgive and forget.” They typically quoted clichés like, “The Bible says we are to forgive like God who cast our sins in the ‘sea of forgetfulness.’” I finally searched scripture and discovered it never says this. Although we will find the phrase ‘sea of . . .’ 23 times, sea of forgetfulness is nowhere in the Bible; neither is the phrase “forgive and forget”. As most Christians, I have forgiven lots of people for hurtful words or actions against me. But, forget?—that just doesn’t exist within my brain. When I would hear people use these clichés, I would feel guilty and wondered if I was sinning even though I had forgiven, but not forgotten. Through the years I have learned I am not alone and other people remember a majority of their past and may be struggling with this issue as a Christian. I did not approach this subject lightly. I have spent over two years studying this topic in scripture, listening to sermons and reading material from biblically sound pastors and teachers.
The Bible nowhere says God forgets our sins. I know that some of you are already thinking of verses that appear to contradict this. The problem with saying God forgets is the fact He cannot forget. God is omniscient or all knowing. Forgetting would violate His immutable attributes of Deity. He does not induce Himself with amnesia or erase something from His infinite knowledge. One scripture people use as a proof text that God forgets is Hebrews 8:12, a quote of Jeremiah 31:34. I will remember their sins no more. However, note it does not say He forgets. It states He does not remember. God doesn’t delete the information. The word for remember means recollect or call to mind. He chooses not to recollect or call to mind. The BBE translation (Bible in Basic Language) best captures the true meaning; I will not keep their sins in mind.
It is important that we understand the Biblical meaning of forgiveness. The original word means to dismiss, to pass over or by, to remit, or to lay aside. When someone hurts, offends, lies to us, or rejects us it brings pain. Forgiveness should take place when the individual confesses, repents, and ask for our forgiveness. This means we release them from the wrong they committed. Unforgiveness brings grudges toward the offender and can cause us to think and to do evil things to them. Not forgiving robs us of joy leaving us with a wound that will not heal. One writer said forgiveness is giving up our right to hurt the one who hurt us. Forgiveness is never easy. It is not something we do with our emotions, rather it is a decision we make by an act of our will. Forgiveness does not always instantly eliminate the pain but begins the process of healing.
We may not forget the acts of sin against us even after we have forgiven the person, but we can deactivate the memory not allowing it into the active process of our thinking. In other words, when Satan, a person, or an event triggers that passive memory, refuse to allow it into your active thoughts. Like healing, this is an ongoing progression and the more we refuse such thoughts to resurface, the less we are tempted to dwell on the offence. As we heal, the pain becomes less and less. Because I have hunted, fished, and worked with tools all my life, I have accumulated numerous scars from accidents. Some were serious, bringing pain and lengthy times of healing. I can look at each scar and remember the accident that caused it. I can tell you where I was and the number of stitches required. Now, none of them are painful, and only a visible blemish remains. The memory is there, but I rarely let these thoughts surface. I also have multiply spiritual scars and know when, where, and who caused them. Only a few of them still bring pain and I don’t allow that memory to surface.
If you are like me and lack the ability to forget, don’t let anyone quote a cliché and make you feel guilty. We are commanded to forgive but not forget. Our concern should focus on what we do with that memory. Forgive like God and choose not to recollect or call to mind the offence.
Sustaining Word for the Week: No problem if you don’t forget, but forgive, deactivation that memory, and let God heal the pain.