I need to share an urgent prayer request with you. I’m only telling you this private matter so you can help me pray. I heard from someone earlier today, who I totally trust, that our pastor is having an affair with his secretary. Please keep this to yourself.
Don’t get all excited and call the deacon board, the pastor is not having an affair. I just made it up—sorry pastor. But, I’m sure we have all heard or maybe even shared information like this masqueraded as a prayer request over a concern for someone instead of calling it what it is—gossip. Beware when someone starts a conversation with, “Have you heard…”; “Let me tell you what someone shared with me…”; “You won’t believe what I heard…”; “Did you know…?”; “I know this won’t go any further…”. Of course, the most subtle approach among Christians, “I am only telling you this so you can pray.”
A Psychology Bulletin last month published a research report claiming gossip is good for people. It may feel good to the gossiper, but certainly doesn’t do any good for the one gossiped about. Gossip is like a bag of feathers thrown into a tornado that can never be re-gathered. Believers normally give up lying, stealing, drunkenness, cheating, drugs, and fornication, or the so called big sins, but it is an easy temptation for our conversations to drift to rumors and hearsay. Proverbs give one reason why, The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body (Prov. 18:8 ESV).
Newsstands and grocery store checkout aisles are loaded with gossip magazines, countless websites are devoted to various categories of gossip, some about individuals, others focus on Hollywood, celebrities, or politicians, etc. One site lists the top 100 best gossip sites. Everyday various TV programs keep listeners up to date with the latest juicy rumors. The most surprising and disturbing sites I discovered were those devoted to gossip among Christians and churches.
So, what does God says. In the list of sins of those turned over to a reprobate mind, Paul includes gossip. God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, contrivers of all sorts of evil, disobedient to parents (Rom 1:28-30 NIV). In 2 Timothy 3:2-5 Paul list the eighteen characteristics of people in the last days and writes in a literary style known as a chiasm. He begins and ends the list with misdirected love. However, in a chiastic structure the main point lies at the center thought, which here is the word diabolos translated malicious gossips. The New Testament writers used this word 37 times translated 3 times as malicious gossip but 34 times as devil. Other versions say slanderous, saying evil of others, false accusers, and abusive (blasphemous, scoffing). You could legitimately paraphrase it; in the last days, men will be . . . devils. Just these two scripture references out of multiple verses should stress the danger of the sin of gossip.
Gossip is a matter of the heart. But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man (Mat 15:18). If you are guilty of this sin, confess it as sin and repent. Then ask the Holy Spirit to help control your tongue because this requires God’s help. But no one can tame the tongue (James 3:8). For those exposed to gossip, Solomon gave a simple solution. Do not associate with a gossip (Proverbs 20:19). Remember, it takes two people to gossip—one to talk and one to listen. Just listening to gossip makes you a guilty participant. Soon after we arrived in Zambia, the national superintendent taught me a valuable approach to gossip. “When any one comes to you and begins gossiping about me, ask them to take a ride with you, get in your truck, and come to my house so I can hear it to.” It only took a couple of times doing this that people knew not to gossip around me.
The best practice for Christians, if you can’t say something good or encouraging, don’t say anything. Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear (Eph 4:29). I personally do not remember ever hearing a sermon on gossip, only an occasional brief mention. Yet, it is not just a ‘little sin’ as some try to rationalize. Repent if this applies to you, stop listening to gossip, and avoid those you know who gossip. Be warned, if a person will gossip to you, they will also gossip about you.
Sustaining Word for the Week: Check yourself before you speak: Is it true? Is it edifying? Would you say it, if the person were present? Is it necessary? If not, just keep quite.